


Jack, That's Not Real

by destielisanoof



Series: TFW 2.0 Discovers FanFiction [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Books: Supernatural Series - Carver Edlund, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Crack, Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape, Eventual Happy Ending, Feels, First work - Freeform, M/M, Memes, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), No Smut, Sad Ending, Spoilers, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Tumblr Memes, Yes i put Jack Winchester, all the characters up there are mentioned, lets make the tag popular, there is nothing anyone can do about it, this is a crack, with FEELS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23707570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielisanoof/pseuds/destielisanoof
Summary: Sam, Dean, Castiel and Jack discover that Chuck is back and he is publishing more books. So they do the second thing they are all good at! Read. They start reading all the books, slow progress and Jack discovers Supernatural memes. Things start to get awkward and Jack makes a big point in Dean's and Cas' relationship that angers Castiel. Feelings are spilled and Cas breaks something.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Series: TFW 2.0 Discovers FanFiction [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710835
Comments: 9
Kudos: 39





	Jack, That's Not Real

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so I'm sorry if it's bad. It's supposed to be funny and then get's sad and then depressing and then back to happy because I feel like it. This is a crack in the beginning and all the characters up there are mentioned except for the main four.

Jack sat in front of his computer screen looking at the open tabs he had from different news channels. Sitting on the top side of the map table in the bunker library he kept reading the articles. Looking for anything supernatural that could help them find Chuck. Like the Winchester's taught him, he kept browsing. He headed over to his Twitter to see if anything had popped up over there. He was browsing through Tweets from CNN and PIX11 until one coughed his eye. It said 'Honestly Jack didn't deserve such a death, I always knew Chuck was a fraud!' which was posted by DeanGirl17. 

Confusion struck Jack like a thunderbolt. Were they talking about him and his grandfather? Was it those Supernatural Gospels Sam talked about once or twice? What was happening? 

  
  


Looking up from his screen his eyes flew to Sam and asked, "Hey Sam, those Supernatural books, do they mention me?" 

Sam looked up at him with his brows pinched together in confusion. "No, Chuck-I mean God stopped writing them after Cas swallowed up purgatory. That's when he went off-world." 

Castiel visibly tensed at Sam's statement. He looked at Jack who was sitting across from him, "Why? Do they mention you?" 

Jack looked back at his screen confused, "I think so but I'm not sure." 

"I'll look into that," Sam said quickly before typing away at his laptop. Cas went back reading his book and Jack closed the page on Twitter and went back to CNN. 

Dean came around the corner with four beers in his hands. He set them around the table for Sam, Cas, Jack and himself. He plopped down on his seat and opened his laptop, he opened on the Kansas News Report and scrolled through the article while he drank his beer. 

This was a typical day in the bunker, the four of them sitting around a table, drinking beer and doing research. And the exception of Dean watching porn. 

"Son of a bitch," Sam muttered under his breath, loud enough for the three other men to hear him. 

"What?" Dean asked as everyone looked up at Sam. 

"Chuck's back," he said, not moving his eyes from his screen. 

"How do you know that?" Dean asked because his brother wasn't being straight with him. 

“Because he’s published more books,” Sam said, meeting his older brother’s eyes. 

  
  


“How many more?” Castiel asked. 

“181 more books. More like 8 new series of books but yea,” Sam said looking at the fandom page. 

“Seriously? Up to when?” Dean asked annoyed, he didn’t want his life to be a frigging book series for a bunch of teens to read! 

“Up to date. Or I should say up to when Chuck revealed his true colours. From what I can tell he left off from when he released hell on us,” Sam explained turning back to his screen. 

“Then we should read what he has published. He wrote himself into the books as a prophet so there must be a detail about himself or a personal note like in the tablets. Perhaps something another angel or demon has stated that we didn’t know of,” Castiel suggested and Dean nodded in agreement with his statement. 

“He’s right, Sammy, can you try to find the books online?” Dean asked his little brother who seemed too focused on his screen. 

“Way ahead of ya. I bought the pdf’s off Amazon for the first 12 series and are sending them to the three of you right now. But the last two I need to pick up at the library which I bought just...now!” Sam said as he pressed enter to confirm the purchase. He got out of his seat claiming his phone. “I’ll go pick them up at the library. There’s about 200 we need to read since we haven’t read the sixth series so we can all take 50 books each. I’ll see you guys later,” Sam said walking into his room to get his jacket and then the garage. 

Dean sighed and tipped the beer bottle to his lips, opening the link Sam sent him. “Awesome.”

  
  
  


~~~

Three hours had passed since Sam had come back with the 43 books he ordered. Now everyone was reading the Supernatural books. Dean, Cas and Jack were reading them online and Sam took the hard copies. Sam was currently reading the 13th series while Cas took the 9th and Dean took the 11th. Jack thought he was readying the 6th series but while moving on to the next book, he accidentally opened the wrong site. And was reading something more mature. 

“Oh...” he muttered to himself. He liked learning about Sam’s, Dean and Castiel’s past but now they were hiding secrets from him. 

“What?” Sam and Cas asked in sync. Dean just took a big sip of his beer and set it down. 

“Nothing, just,” Jack looked at the screen trying to come up with something to say, “you guys don’t have to hide anything from me know that right?” Jack said innocently while everyone looked at him confused. 

  
  


“Jack what are you talking about? We aren’t keeping anything from you and won’t anytime soon,” Dean said casually and brought back the beer to his lips. 

“I know but you guys could have told me at least that you both have sex with Cas,” Dean choked on his drink and toppled over coughing the drink out of his lungs. Cas looked across the table at Jack with wide eyes and Sam’s breath hitched as he snorted and choked. 

“W-what?” Cas managed to say. He was so confused his head wasn’t even tilted like he did when confused. 

Dean slowly calmed down and looked up at his brother. Sam watched Dean look at him horrified. 

“You had sex with Cas?!” They both said at each other in unison. 

  
  


“NO!” Castiel replied loudly before the Winchesters could answer. “Jack where does it say that?” 

“In the books. It’s mainly about you and Dean but there are also some that talk about you and Sam having sex and there are some with all three of you. There is also a couple with Sam and Dean sleeping together which I did not enjoy reading, and I think is illegal in the state of Kansas” Jack stated and kept going, “there are also some with Sam sleeping with Gabriel and Eileen, which I was sure were happening but never confirmed. There is also Sam sleeping with Ruby and Roweena and Lucifer too, which I don’t understand why. There is also Cas who slept with Lucifer and Dean who slept with Crowley and then there is another popular story of Cas, Dean and Crowley sleeping together. But there are many parts where Dean and Cas have sex,” Jack explained as he kept scrolling through the website. 

Sam, Dean and Cas were all lost for words, they were all just confused and magically all had boners now! They looked at Jack with wide eyes and their jaws to the floor. 

“Ja-Jack are you sure tha-that's real?” Sam said leaning closer to Jack, not sure if he even wanted to see his screen. 

“Yea I think so, it was in the link you gave me. There’s also a picture attached to one of Dean’s and Cas’ story.” 

“What? Lemme see,” Dean said, grabbing the laptop from Jack and opening the attachment right away. He soon regretted it as he felt his pants tightening. That was fake for sure. 

“Jack, that’s not real,” Dean glared at the half-angel kid, “it’s fan art or whatever they call it. Someone drew it.” 

“Oh, but it looks so real though,” Jack protested. 

“It’s not, someone with good art skills drew that,” he explained and lifted his pants slightly to look at his dick, “they even got the sizes wrong.” He complained and Sam took the laptop while Cas shot him a death glare. 

Sam looked at the screen for one second and wanted to throw up. “Oh, seriously! Couldn’t you have given me a heads up that this was a nude of you and Cas!” Sam glared and bitchfaced his brother. 

“A what?” Castiel asked, confused as he grabbed the laptop from Sam’s grasp. 

“Yea, sorry,” Dean rolled his eyes at his brother, “anyway I don’t get why Cas is on top though,” Dean argued, looking at the picture closer. Cas looked away and rested his face in his palms, feeling his erection grow. 

“Dean, that’s your issue with this?” Sam snapped at Dean who pushed the laptop back towards him. Sam looked at the image for another split second before closing the file and had his boner get bigger. 

“Sam, how do we delete this off the internet?” Cas mumbled through his hands. 

“You can’t. And Jack, the stories you read aren’t real, they’re fanfiction. And the site you’re on is called PostMyFanFic.com so it’s all fake. Written by the fans who read the books.” Sam explained as he blocked the site from Jack’s server. 

“Oh, then why would they write all that?” Jack asked. 

“They write it because they are a bunch of crazy teenagers that would rather read about our fucked up lives and then write pornos about them,” Dean explained, trying to make his dick stop being a dick with his mind. 

“Like Dean said but also they share their ideas about non-canon stuff in the text. For example, Dean and Cas. Everyone wants them to get together even though they won't. There are also competitions and some get awarded or even paid to write the fanfics and draw the fan arts,” Sam explained and Jack nodded in understanding. Sam handed Jack back the laptop with the actual Supernatural books opened. 

“Wait how do you know that?” Dean asked all of a sudden seriously. 

“Charlie told me and got me into the Harry Potter fandom,” Sam explained embarrassed. 

  
  


Dean shot him a death glare. 

“Shut up,” Sam muttered as he tried to palm himself with one hand under the table because his erection started to hurt. 

“Seriously dude?!” Dean asked, noticing what his brother was doing under the table. 

“Shut up, you’re worse than me,” Sam fought back and clenched his jaw trying to make it go away. 

“Cas is worse than both of us. It’s like Mount Everest down there,” Dean said pressing his head on the table while palming himself too. 

“I will smite you Winchester,” Cas threatened Dean which made him worse, “also why are you looking at my pants?” Cas asked with a small smirk. 

Dean laid there silently looking at Cas, “Shut your cakehole.” 

“Wait, I don’t understand what’s happening,” Jack said innocently to see all three of them with their hands under the table and for Dean to be laying on his left cheek. 

“Nothing,” they all said in sync. Well at least Jack never had to have sex and boners or it would have been even more awkward. Cas wrapped his trench coat around him making himself look poofy. He quickly got up and turned his back away from everyone sitting at the table and headed to his room without a word. Sam and Dean followed his moves and all three enjoyed a nice cold shower. 

Leaving Jack confused in the library. 

~~~ 

It had been almost a day since the-thing-they-will-never-talk-about-like-ever. Sam was reading the 10th series now Dean had the 14th, Cas had the 7th and Jack had the 8th. 

  
  


Sam was a fast reader so he was almost done with the 10th series. He has finished the second last book and was horrified. He felt sick to his stomach by what he had read. How could I have let that happen? He asked himself and gently set the book down, slightly shaking. Cas and Dean noticed and looked up at him. 

“Sam, are you alright? You look disturbed,” Castiel asked and gave his brother a look. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I-just Dean, can I talk to you for a sec?” Sam asked but didn't wait for an answer. He led his brother to the kitchen, far from the former angel to hear them. 

  
  


“What?” Dean asked. 

  
  


“Dean how could you do that!?” Sam almost yelled, he threw his arms over his head so he wouldn’t hit his older brother. 

“Do what? Sammy tell me what’s wrong?” Dean was still confused. Sam, though it was just an act. 

“Stop playing stupid Dean! Cas is our best friend, he’s your best friend, you can practically live without him. You-” 

  
  


“Sammy, what the hell are you talking about. When Cas died, the last time I was fine.” He lied to Sam and both himself. 

“No, no Dean you weren’t. You literally killed yourself in front of me pretending to do some hail mary crap. Why? Because you gave up without Cas.” Sam spat out the facts. 

Dean looked down at the ground ashamed at himself for doing that in front of his brother. 

  
  


“But how could you do that? To Cas?” Sam begged for an answer. Dean finally knew what he was talking about and felt his stomach knotted up and he hated himself for that. “Dean, I had to clean his blood off the floor. I thought it was one of the Stynes because it was just so much blood,” Sam said disgusted and lost in thought. 

Dean looked up at his brother with anger and fear, “So what do you want me to do about it? Huh? Sammy it was almost five years ago, in case you’re trying to make me feel like crap for what I did, I already am!” Dean whispered, yelled at his brother. 

  
  


Castiel could feel that something was wrong between the two brothers. What did Sam read or find out that disturbed him?

  
  


Castiel looked over at the book as was reading and closed his laptop. He picked up the book and started going through the pages, once he reached the end of the book his heart dropped. Sam was probably yelling at Dean about that. Guilt washed over Cas and he quickly got up.

  
  


"Wait, where are you going?" Jack asked Castiel confused as to why he was also leaving.

  
  


"I need to explain something to Sam, I'll be back," Cas said with a small fake smile and turned away towards the kitchen.

  
  


"I just wanted you to tell me Dean. I know Cas wouldn't because he's Cas but at least you could be honest with me. And because you're you, I bet you that you and Cas haven't talked about what happened ever since you left him bloody on the floor!" His tone had gone higher and he was looking down at his brother disappointed. 

  
  


Dean didn't say anything, there was nothing left to say, his brother was right.

  
  


"Am I wrong or am I right?" Sam continued trying to hold back tears.

  
  


"Sam, Dean," Castiel said as he stepped through the kitchen. He knew what was going on.

  
  


"No, Cas. Before you say anything just no. Why would you go off after everything that happened? You said you were going back to Rowena because Dean had already left. But really it was the exact opposite." Sam tried to keep his voice down as he talked to his friend. Cas said nothing, just hung his head and looked at the ground like Dean was.

  
  


"Come on man! I had to clean your blood off the floor, I even saw the angel blade stabbed in a book so hard that it had gone through the book on the floor! You could have told me before I went to find Dean that day! I had to know what he was capable of!"

  
  


"Okay, but I didn't! What does that change Sam? Nothing. Can we just please forget about the topic?" Cas begged between the two brothers.

  
  


Sam didn't say anything, it wasn't his place to do so.

  
  


"No, we can't forget about it Cas," Dean said to the angel, who's look softened. "Sammy's right, we need to talk about what happened and I need to apologize."

  
  


_ About time someone listened to me, _ Sam thought to himself. Dean looked up at his brother and nodded at him to leave. Sam nodded back and left the room to allow Dean and Cas to talk. 

  
  


Cas sighed and walked closer to Dean so that he was at least 4 feet away from the Winchester. “Dean you don’t have to-”

“Yea, Cas, I do. I hurt you a lot. Sammy and I get our fair share of fights throughout the years, nothing new. But what I did to you. How I left you? Sure you’ve beaten the crap out of me before but you never left me a bloody unconscious mess and threatened to kill me. I did and I hate myself for that. There’s no excuse for what I did,” Dean sighed and moved closer to the angel, “I’m so sorry for what I did Cas. I know it's been years since it happened but you deserve an apology.”

  
  


Cas couldn’t say anything, his mouth felt dry and his jaw too heavy for him but he still felt a warm sensation inside of him. It might have been years since it happened but the memory still hurt and haunted him until today. Tears welled up in Castiel’s eyes and he looked up to lock his eyes with Dean’s. He loved his green eyes, how perfect and how they shone a bright green in the sunlight. “Thank you,” Cas said with a small nod, tears blurring his vision.

  
  


Dean wrapped his arms around his best friend, bringing their chests together. Castiel also wrapped his arms around Dean and held him tightly, not as tight as he did when he found him in Purgatory but still tight. Dean also felt emotions bubbling up in himself too.

  
  


“I’m so damn sorry,” Dean whispered, letting a tear slide down his cheek. Leave it up Dean to have this macho soldier act, but when alone with his angel, to magically ignore that act. 

  
  


“I know. And I forgive you, I forgave you a long time ago. I just needed to-to hear you say it,” Castiel stated, not shedding a tear and Dean chuckled. He didn’t break the hug but moved his head back so he could look at Cas, still holding him.

  
  


“We’re both a couple of stubborn dumbasses,” Dean laughed and Cas cracked a smile.

  
  


“Yes, we are,” Cas said and they finally broke away the hug, “we should probably get back in the library before Sam starts bitching.

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  


They all sat around the table in the library, all four of them on their third beers and their eyes on computer screens or book pages. Jack, fortunately, was acting like every teen when doing homework, going through Twitter and Reddit. 

  
  


Jack let out a chuckle and replied to the Tweet. Sam, Dean and Cas snapped their heads up at him.

  
  


“Jack...what are you doing?” Sam asked afraid of what the reply might be.

  
  


“Are you reading pornos about the three of us?” Dean asked sarcastically and Jack looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

  
  


“No, I’m not. That was weird to read them and their not called written pornos, it’s called smut and the way you said it was a bit,” Jack stopped mid-sentence looking for the right words, “that was a bit weird to say.”

  
  


“I-” Dean stopped himself mid-sentence, glaring at Cas for help who just smirked at him.

  
  


“Okay, Jack, but what are you doing?” Cas asked curiously, trying to take it slow with the kid.

  
  


“I’m looking at memes about the Supernatural books from Tumblr, Reddit and Twitter,” he said simply and Dean banged his head on the table.

  
  


“Entertain us about our lives, Jack, what do they say?” Sam asked excitedly only to get the kid started so he could annoy Dean.

  
  


“Well this one says that Cas said ‘Dean what did I tell you not to do?’ and Dean replies with ‘Not burn down the house.’ and Cas says ‘What did you do?’ and Dean then says ‘I cooked food.’ then there is an awkward silence and Dean finishes off with ‘And burned down the house…’” Jack said with a small smile looking up from the screen to see Dean shrugging.

  
  


“I mean sure but it would be more like...the other way around,” Dean said pointing at Cas behind his back with a smirk, only gaining himself a glare from the angel.

  
  


“What’s another one?” Sam asked because maybe he was having too much fun with this.

  
  


“It’s a post saying ‘How the hell is Supernatural a New York Best Times Seller book series? How is this crap even real?’ and it has a bunch of book quotes that say ‘Dick is coming’ and ‘The rise of Dick’. ‘So we got dick on Dick’, ‘Dick calling’, ‘Big daddy chomper lands here, he grabs himself some Dick…’, ‘Are you gonna look at more anime or are you strictly into Dick now?’, ‘What makes Dick so hard to beat?’, ‘Cas, you got anything to say on the topic of Dicks?’, ‘If you dig down deep, it’s all Dick.’ and ’The boys need Cas to get Dick.’” Jack finished off and looked up at Sam, Dean and Cas who also looked uncomfortable.

  
  


“And people still like to read about our lives, huh?” Dean asked and sat back on his chair.

  
  


“Yea, the Supernatural fandom is one of the biggest fandoms. They have practically taken over two fanfiction posting sites and Tumblr and they call themselves...Sam girls, Dean girls and Cas wives,” Jack explained and Cas tilted his head in confusion.

  
  


“But Sam and Dean are both male and I’m not married,” Cas protested and the Winchester’s glared at him and rolled their eyes at the angel.

  
  


“Tell us another one,” Dean said because why not! It was fun watching people make fun of their lives.

  
  


“Okay,” Jack said as he browsed through the site, “Oh, their one that says, ‘Lucifer once he sees God for the first time in ages in series 11’ and there’s a picture of a man with a scar on his eye saying, ‘Well, well, well, if it isn’t the invisible cunt.’” Jack said looking at his screen confused. Dean chuckled and motioned for Jack to keep telling them memes.

  
  


“Oh, this is a Tweet, ‘If you ever want to suicide just have sex with Sam from Supernatural’, and someone replied with, ‘You’ll go out with a bang!’ and someone added a gif of burning Elmo in the background. Wait I don’t understand how sleeping with Sam can lead to your death?” Jack wondered, tilting his head to the side in a very Cas like manner. Dean huffed a breath and Sam coughed, now regretting this.

  
  


“Jack, next one,” Sam said awkwardly because he knew Dean and Cas weren’t going to say anything about that.

  
  


“Okay,” Jack went back to shuffling through Finsta, Twitter and Reddit. He tilted his head confused and looked up at his dad’s again. 

  
  


“What does ‘bang’ mean?” He asked and Dean chuckled.

  
  


“Well, there’s two meanings,” he said and leaned on the table, moving closer to Jack so the kid could understand, “one means bang! Like an explosion or something. The other is basically a slang for r-”

  
  


“Don’t you dare say it,” Sam and Cas warned him before he could be an idiot and make this awkward.

  
  


“Slang for having rough and raw sex where the top makes the bottom scream in pleasure,” Dean half yelled with a smirk as Sam and Cas looked like they would murder him with their eyes.

  
  


“Oh ok, wait what’s Destiel?”

  
  


At this Sam smirked and looked at his brother who wasn’t laughing anymore.

  
  


“Don’t you fucking dare Sammy!” Dean whispered at his brother. It was already embarrassing that that thing existed between him and Cas, he didn’t want the angel to know because it would be more awkward and he might spill out his true feelings.

  
  


“What is it?” Castiel asked, also confused as to why the brothers were so flustered by the word.

  
  


“It’s a name,” Sam paused for a moment, embracing his brother's worried and pink face.

  
  


“Don’t,”

  
  


“For Dean and Cas, it’s a ship name. A mashup of their names meaning the readers want them to get together,” Sam explained with an evil grin and Dean slouched back to his seat with his jaw clenched and his face a bright red.

  
  


Cas just looked annoyed with the internet but Jack was confused.  _ Why was it Destiel and not Deastiel because Dean’s name is DEAn and not DEn? _ Jack asked himself and went back to looking at his memes.

  
  


“Well anyway, there’s this really popular Reddit post that says, ‘Destiel should be banging on the map table right now’ and someone replied, ‘I wish but Mr. Edlund could never make that canon’ and another user replied ‘If Supernatural was written by another author, I bet all of y’all that Cas would be banging Dean senseless on the Impala at least 3 times in each book.’” Jack read out the post and all of a sudden both Dean and Cas felt their pants tightening. 

  
  


Sam smirked and urged Jack to keep reading, “Another post says, oh this is actually recent and the hashtags...the hashtags aren’t really happy ones,” Jack said looking up at Dean and then back at the computer, “one user said, ‘Honestly Dean shouldn’t be pushing people he loves away because he can’t talk about his feelings. Man needs to grow some balls and stop blaming Cas for everything and say the one thing we all want to say’ there’s a bunch of angry emojis and someone replies, ‘Yeah but we’re talking about right here, he never talks about his feelings, he even left the bunker to go cry by himself in the woods because he can’t open up, that’s just his character’ the user SamsLostShoe29 replied, ‘We all know Dean has anger issues and just a bunch of issue in general but that’s no excuse to using the person he loves the more as his personal punching bag. #casdeservesbetter!’ another user replied, ‘@SamsLostShoe29 you’re so right, honestly Destiel has no chance with everything that is happening in the series right now. And the fact that there are only 20 books left means that they will never resolve their tension. I’m taking a break from Destiel and heading over to Sastiel! Sam and Cas work out better anyway!’ some other user replied with, ‘Honey have you read the books? Every time Sam and Cas are left alone they end up doing some crazy experiments on each other's bodies and they both almost die. That would end in disaster.’ then the previous user replied with ‘At least Cas won’t be truly happy and in a non-dysfunctional relationship,’ the first user said, ‘But with the d-’”

  
  


“Jack,” Dean cut in the kid to make him stop talking, he felt like a dick and even the internet was telling him, “just-I think that’s enough memes for now,” he said, taking Jack's laptop and closing the top. Dean gave a fake smile at Jack and turned to look at Cas who had his hands into fists and his jaw clenched as he glared into the table. Sam looked down at his folded arms, ashamed for what he started and scared for the storm that was about to come. Dean opened and closed his mouth to say something but there was nothing to say.  _ What was I supposed to say? Hey Cas, sorry for all the emotional and physical trauma I caused you, I promise to try and stop using you as my punching bag, can we still be friends? _

  
  


When Cas heard nothing but silence for almost two minutes he got up and started to make his way to his room without a single word. 

  
  


Dean knew what was happening,  _ no, no, no, no. _ He muttered to himself as he chased after the angel. They turned past the kitchen Dean knew Sam nor Jack followed them so he started to call out for the angel. “Wait, Cas. Cas. Cas stop!”

  
  


Castiel ignored him, anger bouncing off of every one of his molecules making up his vessel and being.  _ Why was I so stupid and naive to notice the older Winchester using me? I was too blinded by love, that’s my problem! _ Cas thought to himself. 

  
  


He grabbed an old duffle bag he had in his room from when he was human. He went through the dresser in the corner of the room grabbing a few essentials like a couple of pants, boxers and shirts and tossed them in the duffle bag. He felt Dean’s presence in the doorway of his room but that didn’t stop him. His grace was weakening so that meant he needed to pack things he would need as a human just in case. He grabbed a razor, a shaving cream bottle and a 3 in 1 body wash and shampoo from his small bathroom linked to his bedroom and threw it in the bag. He was about to move to his dresser to grab a few more personal belongings when he felt a strong pair of hands stop him.

  
  


“Cas stop dammit. Slow down, please,” Dean begged him with watery eyes. Castiel snapped his head at him and glared at the Winchester.

  
  


“Don’t fucking touch me,” he threatened in a low growling voice, making the sweat in Dean’s back run cold. He rarely heard Cas swear and when he did it wasn’t like this

  
  


“Okay, sorry, but tell what the hell you’re doing,” Dean commanded even though he knew the answer, but he kept denying it. Cas tried to get his wrists free from Dean but the hunter tightened his grip.

  
  


“I’m leaving Dean. I shouldn’t have come back in the first place, it was a mistake,” he confessed and wanked his arms lose from Dean’s grip. The hunter’s stomach dropped.  _ No, no, no, not again. Please, not again. _

  
  


“Wait, wait, wait, Cas, wh-why?” Dean was shaking, his stomach was a knot and he couldn’t breathe. He knew the answer but he needed to hear why.

  
  


Cas snapped his head towards Dean, stepping close to him and yelled, “Why? Because I am tired Dean! I am tired of being your personal punching bag! I have done some bag-terrible things, but I deserve better than this!” 

  
  


The angel turned back around to grab things from his dresser.

  
  


Dean felt pit in his stomach, guilt choking him.  _ Cas is right, he deserves better than this, I should just let him go. But I can’t because I love him. And we need him because I can’t do this without him. _

  
  


“Cas, I care about you, so does S-”

  
  


“If you really cared about me you would let me do what’s better for me. You also are doing a very crappy job showing that you care,” Cas snapped at him, turning back at retrieving his weapons from the smaller dresser.

  
  


“So, you’re willing to let Jack do this alone? He needs you Cas,” Dean argued and Cas stopped dead in his tracks. Dean had a point but he couldn’t do this anymore.

  
  


“Jack was born without me and he was fine, because he had Sam. You and your brother will be fine without me,” he reassured and went back to cleaning out his smaller dresser, the last time he had left he didn’t take anything, but now that his powers are failing even more and at a rapid pace, he might need his belongings. He might become human again so he needs to be ready for anything, especially with God back.

  
  


Dean sat down on Castiel’s bed, beside the duffle bag the angel was packing. He could just throw out everything in the bag to delay the angel, but he didn’t.  _ Cas does deserve better, he doesn’t deserve to be near me. I’m poison and have been poisoning since 2008. _ Dean thought to himself. He didn’t want to fight with Cas anymore to keep him from leaving. He wanted to. He wanted to fight for this, but he shouldn’t, he has no right to. 

  
  


“So, this is it right?” Dean asked, wanting to cry. He wanted to beg the angel, tell him not to leave because he loved him but he couldn’t. He will only keep hurting Cas. 

  
  


“Yeah, it is,” Cas replied right away, anger in his tone. The angel didn’t even want to look at Dean anymore. He packed his extra angel blade and a few other knives and a gun. He also grabbed some extra cash he had and a fake credit card, including his fake ID. He knew Dean was looking at him, his every move, but he was confused as to why he wasn't stopping him.

  
  


Cas opened the top drawer and saw something he wished he had brought with him the first time he left. He slowly picked up the mixtape and looked closely at it. 

  
  


Dean looked at the small black object Cas was holding. He let out a sad chuckle and said, “I remember when I made that for you after we got that attack dog spell off you. You didn’t know how to use it so I showed you and then Sammy and I went out for hunt. When we came back I saw you listening to it while you were asleep. Then after you ran off, you tried to return it.”

  
  


Anger boiled under Castiel skin,  _ is he serious?! _ He glared at Dean then at the floor.  _ Was he just going to sit there and do nothing while I left him? _ He clenched his jaw even harder and nodded to himself.  _ Yeah, Dean was just going to let me go and destroy us. _

  
  


Castiel left out a sad laugh, not looking up at Dean who was watching him like a wounded animal. The angel clenched the mixtape in his hand and arched his arm up. Before he could do anything about it, he threw the mixtape across the room, hitting it on the wall. The plastic shattering into a hundred pieces and the film being released and rolling on the ground. 

  
  


Dean flinched with the angel’s sudden movement and when he realized that was the mixtape shuttering, his heart shattered too. 

  
  


Before Dean could say anything, Cas was yelling at him, “Is that it then? You stupid idiot! You’re just going to give up on everything we sacrificed for each other because you’re a fucking coward!?” Dean was afraid of the angel, he had never seen Cas have an outbreak like this.    
  
  
Cas’ thoughts were drowning him.  _ How could Dean just sit there and throw away everything! Can’t he just admit to his feelings already? _ He rested his hands on the top of his head, tears leaving his eyes and sliding down his cheeks. He felt betrayed. Betrayed by Dean quitting on him and everything they had worked through. Castiel knew how Dean truly felt about him, ever since they got back from Purgatory, he felt it. But he was tired of having the person he loved the most push him away because he couldn’t own up to his feelings.

  
  


Castiel leaned up against the wall, letting his tears slide down his cheeks. His knees felt weak under him so he sat on the ground, cradling his head in his hands.

  
  


Dean got up and sat beside Cas, wrapping his arms around the angel only to be pushed away, “I said don’t touch me asshole!” Cas yelled, scooting away from Dean.

  
  


“Cas, I-” Dean didn’t know what to say. He loved Cas truly but he just kept hurting him all the time. That’s why he chose to let him go, but the angel was on the ground beside him, breaking down.

  
  


Castiel choked back on a sob, looking up at Dean he whispered, “Why aren’t you stopping me? I’m leaving you for crying out loud and you’re sitting there watching me!”

  
  


Dean swallowed the lump in his throat, looking up at Cas who was staring into his soul with watery eyes. “Cas, you don’t deserve what I-”

  
  


“YES I DO! I deserve to have you fight for me! I deserve for you to admit you love me!” The angel spat in Dean’s face. 

  
  


Dean all of a sudden felt like a complete idiot, his feelings exposed, “How long have you known?”

  
  


The angel scoffed, no longer crying, “Ever since your prayer in Purgatory. I felt it. And I knew you would be too uncomfortable to even say it, that’s why I stopped you. But it wasn’t because you are uncomfortable talking about your feelings, it’s because you’re a coward!”

  
  


The hunter knew Cas was right.  _ He is always right dammit! _ He was ashamed of himself for being an idiot. He was in love with the angel but always afraid if he didn’t feel the same. Even though Castiel has spilled his feelings for him more than once, Dean never looked at the signs.

  
  


“I don’t deserve you Cas,” Dean muttered. He felt like a dick, but he didn’t want to keep hurting Cas.

  
  


“Dean, the only way you hurt me is by pushing me away because you’re too afraid of being loved. Just stop. Please,” Castiel said, pleading him with his eyes. 

  
  


“Alright, just don’t-don’t leave me please,” Dean cried and Cas gave him a weak smile. 

  
  


“Okay,” Cas whispered, yet he was still sad. Dean noticed the angel waiting for something, something he doesn’t want to do but has to or he will lose Castiel forever.

  
  


Dean put his arms around Castiel’s waist, surprised by him not running away, he pulled the angle closer to him by the waist, putting his lips on top of the angel’s ear, whispering, “I love you.”

  
  


A smile crept on Cas’ face. He looked up at Dean and brought their lips together, exploring his mouth right away with his tongue.

  
  


“I love you too,” Cas whispered, “and it’s about time you admit to it.”

  
  


Dean rolled his eyes, hugging his angel tighter. Cas returned the hug, nuzzling his head in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean chuckled, kissing the top of Cas’ head.

  
  


“Shut up,” Dean muttered.

  
  


Cas then sat up, snapping his head to the broken mixtape. “I broke the mixtape,” he muttered. To Dean it sounded like the angel was about to have another breakdown. 

  
  


“Hey,” Dean said in a low voice, turning Castiel’s head towards his, “it’s okay. I’ll make you a new one. I still want to add some newer Metallica songs from their last album.”

  
  


“Uhm, what new songs?” Cas asked, pressing himself up against Dean again.

  
  


“There’s two that you might like, Halo On Fire and Atlas, Rise,” he said, putting his hand on his angel’s head, playing with his hair.

  
  


“I like their names,” Cas whispered, suddenly getting a fun idea. 

  
  


“Do you want to go to my room and listen to them?” Dean asked but Cas had something else in mind.

  
  


“I was thinking of doing something different in your room,” Cas suggested, looking at Dean with lust before he attacked his mouth. 

  
  


There was a knock at the door and Dean tried to pull away to see who it was but Cas wouldn’t let him.  _ I have waited for a decade for this, and I’m having it. _

  
  


“Guys,” Sam tried but his brother and the angel were too busy making out. If it was another time, he would have let them do their thing, but right now he had something.

  
  


Dean tried to break the kiss and stand up to talk with his brother but Cas just climbed on his lap, deepening the kiss. He liked this, the way Cas was pressed up against him and the way their mouths explored each other.  _ But Sammy needs me. But also I want this. _

  
  


“Guys!” Sam yelled, now having enough of them. Cas broke the kiss with a groan and snapped his glare at Sam.

  
  


“What’s wrong Sam?”

  
  


“Nothing, just uhm...I think I found something and might know Chuck’s next location,” Sam said awkwardly and Cas pushed himself up.

  
  


Sam looked around the room, seeing a duffle bag full of clothing and other stuff. 

  
  


“You guys going anywhere?” Sam asked.

  
  


Dean snapped his head at Castiel as they walked towards Sam. The angel looked at Dean and shook his head. “No, Cas just had his period.”

  
  


Cas glared at him and lightly elbowed his side.

  
  


“Sorry,” Dean muttered. Sam looked at the two confused.

  
  


“Well, good thing you two solved out your issues, Jack and I thought Cas was going to murder you because of how pissed he looked,” Sam joked, leading them to the library.

  
  


Dean scoffed, pressing a small kiss to Cas’ lips, “Anyways, what did you guys find?”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I have an idea to continue this but I don't know if I should. Please, please, please comment if I should continue this. Basically my idea is if Sam, Dean and Cas go to a Spn convention to see if they can find Chuck. Let me know plz!


End file.
